"SING!!! Sing into my necklace, you poor unfortunate soul!!"

Last night, I may have had purple skin... I may have dressed as an evil sea witch... and I may have tried to steal some voices.  Hint:  I did.

For 3 glorious hours, I was Ursula.  You can't tell by the pictures, but I was a very glittery Ursula.   Which also means that today I'm a very glittery Ashley.  Even after showering, I'm still finding glitter everywhere.  Cute, I know.

 

Ursula was not alone in her under-the-sea adventures.  Ariel was there, thingamabob in hand.  She wanted legs to walk to men's priv to see her Prince Eric/Bobby.  In exchange for legs, I took her voice.  Her fin magically began to unravel while traveling to the Priv House.  Don't tell me Ursula doesn't have real powers.  Who even needs King Triton?  I don't.

There was a mini Disney villain reunion last night as well.  Ursula got to spend time with her villain vixen BFF Cruella DeVille.  We made quite the puppy-catching-voice-stealing duo.  Check out those eye lashes. 

Ariel was NOT excited about the villain vixen reunion.

Remember that part in the movie when Ursula... I mean I... am fixin' to get married to Prince Eric and have Ariel's voice forever and take over the human world AND under the sea world?  BUT then all of a sudden Ariel's friends attack me and break my beautiful shell necklace?  And I get real REAL angry?  And turn into the giant sticking up out the water I'm gonna eat you and your ship Ursula?  Yeah.  That's what this picture is I feel like.  This is my precious pumpkin roommate Hannah.  She's tiny and I'm giant and angry and hungry for some ships apparently.

I told some people to sing into my shell necklace.  Some complied.  Others didn't.  However, I collected enough voices to last a good while.

I love Halloween.  It's one of my FAVORITE holidays ever.  I'm for real.  I love dressing up.  I love candy.  I love scary things.  I'm glad I get to celebrate Halloween for 3 straight days this year.  I'm headed to Nashville this weekend for more Halloween festivities and to visit some fun time people.  I can't wait!!!

My dear, sweet child. That's what I do. It's what I live for.  To help unfortunate merfolk like yourself-- poor souls with no one else to turn to. I admit that in the past I've been a nasty.  They weren't kidding when they called me, well, a witch.  But you'll find that nowadays I've mended all my ways. Repented, seen the light, and made a switch to this... And I fortunately know a little magic.  It's a talent that I always have possessed.

Farewell to all the poor unfortunate souls out there.  I must go now.

Random Thoughts of Today

Two days after Pumpkin Chicken Night (!) my pumpkin is drying out and withering.  Goodbye, beautiful Judy Garland.  Hello, Zombie-2-Face-Dorothy.  Good then.  I turned her pumpkin-demon self around to face the wall so I couldn't see her.  I'm not even going to provide a picture.  it. is. not. cute.  And no... I'm not bitter about it.  Not at all.

I'm starting project carve MJ one day this week.  You just wait.

Today, I went to Sonic for happy hour with Kristina and LB.  I couldn't decide which flavor slush I wanted... so I got a green apple slush because it matched my shirt.  It seemed logical at the time.

Speaking of my shirt-- it's green and has a giant peace sign on it.  Hippie much?  All I know is it was $2 er something when Steve and Barry's was going out of business.  I like it.  That's all that matters.

Did anyone see the moon last night?  It was HUGE!  And Halloweeny!  And YELLOW!  Gorgeous.  Absolutely gorgeous!  I spotted it while driving home from Nashville last night.  The sky was clear, a million stars were visible, and this moon was just spectacular.  God is the supreme artist.  My drive to Nashville yesterday afternoon was also gorgeous.  All the leaves are turning into brilliant reds, oranges, and yellows.  It definitely made Interstate 40 a little less mundane.  The sun was out, the trees were so pretty and the temperature outside was perfect.  I love fall.  Then, James took me to the Percy Warner Park to see even more beautiful fall trees.  'Twas a fantastic Sunday evening.

Those are all my ramblings for today.

Pumpkin-Chicken Night!!!!

Do not be confused by the title.  No, we did NOT eat some sort of weird foreign chicken pumpkin concoction.  However, we DID have a delicioso dinner cooked by Chef Batchaspaghetti-- baconcheesebbq chicken.  It was all real good.  We also had amazing pumpkin muffins by Chef May-May.  But that's not the only pumpkin fun we had Friday night.... we. carved. pumpkins.  Please contain your excitement.  Here are some instructions for a fun time pumpkin night.

Step 1:  Go to the Walmart House and buy beautiful $4 pumpkins.

Step 2:  Buy an over-priced pumpkin carving kit.

Step 3:  Place hair in pumpkin-carving-side-ponytail.  It's the only way to ensure peak carving performance.  It also helps if you wear an insanely stylish tie-dye t-shirt.

Step 4:  Cut the top off your pumpkin and clean out all the grody guts and seeds.

Step 5:  Make sure you have a diet coke handy.  Pumpkin carving is hard work and you will need to quinch that thirst.

Step 6:  Pick out a fun time template or think up a design to carve into your pumpkin.

Step 7: Attach and trace your template.  AKA punch out approximately 234098234 holes around the shape of your design.  Real fun, right?

Step 8:  After several hours of wonderful hole punching you can begin to carve, shave, and shade your pumpkin for several more hours.

Step 9:  When carving is complete, take a picture!!

Step 10:  Put a candle inside and share your pumpkin with the rest of the Halloween world!!

There you have it, folks!  Pumpkin Chicken Night was such a great success.  You should have one of your own.  There are several more pictures on my facebook you can look at if we're friends... and if we aren't friends... we should be!!!

Okbye!

Art Therapy

It all started today at lunch when Lauren decided to draw a portrait of all the roommates in Priv House 103W... including me and Katie since we basically live there, too.

Isn't it cute??  I'm the one with an A on my skirt.  I'm sure that was a "durrr" statement.  A is for Ashley.    And apparently I'm eating sushi.  I'm holding chopsticks.  I love it.  P.S.  Emily pointed out I'm the only one in this picture that isn't depicting a life skill.  Thanks.  See this blog to give suggestions on what I should do with my life.  Ahem.  Moving along.

I'm taking a class called Art for Children.  I like it on most days, but today I especially loved it because we got to paint with watercolors.  I know I've mentioned several times that I love to color.  It's soothing and calms me.  I also looove to paint.  When class let out I immediately went to Fred's and bought some watercolors and painty brushes.

And the creations began...

 LB is so cute.  I love the candy corn.

 We had waaaay too much fun tonight.

 This is my sunset.

 And this is my pumpkin.

Every child is an artist, the problem is how to remain an artist once he grows up. - Picasso

Whazzup my gnomie?

I had a pretty good weekend.  Went to Huntsville to visit Grandma, aaaaannnd Dad and Timbo Slice were in town, too.  We didn't do a whole lot but laze around the house, watch football, watch random lifetime movies, eat entirely too much... aaaand we went to Walmart this one time.

Me, Dad, Timmy and Jordan went to Walmart around lunchtime on Saturday.  This was a fun time.  Dad ordered a dozen corndogs from the deli. The lady didn't know what a dozen meant.  You know I laughed.  Bless her Walmart-Deli working heart.  Then when the corndogs were done cooking, she began putting them in the bag and lost count.  She had to dump out the bag and start again.  I probably shouldn't laugh at how dumb people are.  But I do.

Anyway, while waiting for the food to get done, Jordan and I looked at halloween costumes and such.  You know I've looked at this stuff about 9808234 times now but it doesn't matter because Halloween is my favorite. They have THE most precious infant and toddler costumes.  SOOOO precious.  My favorites are the gnome costume (pictured below) and this oh-so-cute pumpkin costume (I couldn't find a picture of that one.)

Adorable.  I know.  So I basically had a fit over these precious costumes when I showed them to Jordan. I told her I wanted a baby so I could dress it up in Halloween costumes.

Both Jordan and Timmy had really good school pictures taken this year.  They both gave me one and I told them to write a fun-time note on the back of it.  You know... something like HAGS (Have a great summer!) or BFF 4 Lyfe or KIT (Keep in touch!)

This is why I love love love my cousin and brother.  I'm just going to tell you what they wrote on the back of their pictures.

"It's fun time note time and I'm texting.  So now I'm taking time from my friends to talk to you.  It's the school year 2009-2010 and I'm 16.  We're watching Sorority Wars and we're at Grandma's.  So whenever you read this 20 years from now you'll remember the day.  By the way it's Oct. 17th.  So here's to you my lovely sister!  Cherish my face forever and I hope I'm not put in a drawer.

Your brother,

Timothy Payne"

Thanks Timmy.  Thanks for reassuring me you're my brother.  AND for writing your last name.  You know I'll forget those things one day.  I'm for real though.  That cracked me up.

"Ashley!  Here is the fun time note you asked me for.  Well... HAGL.  I hope you finally get out of college and get a job and get married so you can have a baby and put it in a pumpkin costume for Halloween.  :) Anyways we've had some good times and I hope there are many more!  ILY! 

Love Always,

Jordan"

Oh, Jordan.  Thanks for putting an emphasis on FINALLY graduating college.  And I'm glad she knows the correct order of events that are to happen before having a baby.  FYI, HAGL = Have a great life.  Love that.

Yes...  a good weekend, indeed.

Wanna play a game?

Remember that time last week was midterm week?  Sigh.  It wasn't very stressful as far as schoolwork and tests go... since I had none to speak of... BUT it was stressful because reality began to set in.  HALF OF MY LAST SEMESTER OF COLLEGE IS OVER!  Yeah.  I'm not being over-dramatic either, if that's what you're thinking.  This is... I don't even know what this is.  It's terrifying for one thing.  I do know that.

So, tonight, I decided to poll a bunch of my friends.  I asked, "What should Ashley do with her life?"

Here are some suggestions I received:

• Be a hustler (I'm a hustla, I'ma I'ma hustla, homie. If you aks, if ya if ya aks about me, I'm a hustla.)
• Become a professional pool player (I'm game.)
• Be a trophy wife
• Become a millionaire (Yes, please.  Gotta say this one is lookin' good.  Have I ever told y'all I want a red Hummer if I ever get rich??)
• Beer Wench (...great option, don'tcha think?  Can't let this college education go to waste!) 
• Live in Henderson and work at the Snook House (Snookum's is the best restaurant in Henderson... I really don't think they'd hire me though since I don't have any long jean skirts... and I cut my hair from time to time.)
• Move to Huntsville and be a counselor at Emily's sister's school
• Move to Huntsville  (so far this option has the most votes.)
• Move to Memphis and live at the MSOP house ...and not marry a creeper.  (I think I would have a one in a million chance of finding a non-creeper there.)
• Be a nun.  (Thanks, Benton.)
• Just graduate. (Gotta love those short-term goals)
• Move to Nashville.
• Janitor.  Be a janitor.  (Thank you, precious roommate.)
• A professional color-er.  (This might be my favorite one so far.)
• Live happily ever after.  (Duh, I will.)

Now it's time for YOU to play!!  What should I do with my life??  What a fun time game.  Ready?  Set! Go comment!

I'm bitter.

This isn't going to be a bright and sunshiny blog.  Real sorry.  You can turn around and not read, if you'd like.  Won't hurt my feelings.  I'm having a bitter day... I'm going to complain.  Alright.

Reason why I'm bitter:


1) I slept through my bible class this morning.  I'm real mad about that but also let me talk about this class for a moment.  The class is named Genesis-Exodus.  I've learned a lot...  But it's midterm week and we're on like Genesis 20 ...maybe.  There are 50 chapters in Genesis.  At this rate we will never ever make it to Exodus.  Am I bitter that I will not get to learn about Moses?  Yes.  I want to learn about Moses.  I want the felt board busted out and the story told with felt cut-outs.  Felty Moses.  Felty Jews.  Felty Pharoah.  Felty plagues.  Felty Red Sea.  Just like VBS.  I'm bitter.   ...and felty burning bush, please.

2)  I broke my glasses last night.  They're broken.  They're broken and I can't see far away things.  And I have to drive to Huntsville this afternoon.  I can't see the board in class.  I can't see who's on stage in chapel.  I can't see people's facial expressions from far away.  So, if you wave at me from 50 feet away and I don't acknowledge your presence, it's because I can't see you.  I can't see.  I'm bitter.

3) I have about 3-4 months to decide where I want to live and what I want to do with my life.  I need to stop talking about this before panic attack ensues.  I'm only 22 and I have to figure out what I want to do for the next phase in my life.  Half a semester left.  I'm bitter.

4) I want to eat something right now.  I want to eat breakfast every morning in my classes.  We aren't allowed to eat in class.  Sometimes teachers won't say anything if you do.  But most of the time they are rule enforcers.  What's the fun in that?  And why can't I eat breakfast in my elementary nutrition class?  She's always telling us how breakfast is the most important meal blah blah blah.  One day, the teacher went around the entire class and asked if we ate breakfast that morning.  I replied, "I'd rather sleep a little longer."  It's true.  Let me sleep and then let me eat my breakfast in class!!  It's a reasonable request.  I'm bitter.

5) akjdflkasjdfiweufknu4ijotgknrehirjknvfkldjvoiu toiewjdfu3ih4glr j;kljdsf8oiw;ejklrfmasmv oiweu2j3khnasdg...  I'm bitter.

Thank you.  Happy Friday.

My Girls

You thought I forgot about my hero blog series, didn't you?  

Meet Jordan and Kinsley.  They're my adorable not-so-little-anymore cousins.  They live in Huntsville and I've had the pleasure of growing very close to them and watching them grow up while I was there in the summertime.  This is the oldest picture ever but the cutest ever.  Aren't they just precious???

This picture has always cracked me up.  I couldn't resist.  It definitely captures the essence of their sisterly relationship.  I love it.

This is Jordan.  I think this was taken at Horizons 2007.  I really need an updated picture of us... but anyway... She's 14 now.  14!!  She was a year old my first summer in Alabama.  And she's growing  up to be such an intelligent, gorgeous young lady.  I'm proud of her.

Here's Kinsley.  When she was real young and we went out somewhere, people would think she was mine.  Which is scary seeing how I'm only 12.5 years older than her.  She's hilarious.  And takes every word you say literally.  And she never holds back what she's thinking.  I need to start writing down some of the conversations we have.

She's always scheming and coming up with funny plans.  She was telling me about one of them last night.  I don't remember what the scheme was, but I do remember saying this, "Kins, I don't know what we ever did without you and your great plans."  She replied, "Well, I don't know what I ever did without you... and your pretty head."  Haha.  She's so cute.

You can learn so much by simply watching and observing the innocent hearts of children.

Okay, so I went a little picture crazy.  Whatev.

He's Baaaaaaaack!

Guess who's back.  Back again.  Noah's back.  Tell a friend. (nope, not Slim Shady) guess who's back.guess who's back.guess who's back.

What happens when you forget an umbrella and the downpour of the century arrives right as chapel gets out?

Good news though.   Emily was prepared.

The Creepy Townie Caper

Lately I've been visiting the my life is average website a lot.  This provides hours of amusement.  Some stories on there are hilarious to a dork like me.   Here is one of my favorites from today:

Today I was babysitting my neighbor's little boy. I asked him what sound a cat makes. He said meow. I asked what sound a cow makes. He said moo. Then, to fool him, I asked what sound a walrus makes. He replied with Ku Ku Kachoo. Coolest kid ever. MLIA

I can only hope I will have cool kids like that one day.  You know my children will recognize what great music is.  Except I'm not sure "I Am the Walrus" is GREAT... but The Beatles are.  Okay.  Confession time-- I know every single word to this song.  And that's what makes the "ku ku kachoo" reference so amazing in my life.

Great news, guys!  It's October 2nd. [ok, so it WAS October 2nd the day I started writing this blog]  Which equals day 2 of the BBQ Festival in Henderson.  This is big time, folks.  Big.  Time.  So big, in fact, that they closed down Main Street this year and set up the tents right smack in the middle of the road.  What kinds of tents you ask?  Oh you know... tents with fun time shooting games, airbrush shirts (I may have a new obsession.  Had to stop myself from purchasing one.), toys & glowsticks, clothes, purses, crafty crafts, a dunking booth, and a few other things.  So, yeah that's what's on the street.  What is on the grass by the court house you ask?  Oh you know... more tents, giant inflatable little kid jumpy slidey things, AND the glorious stage which provides this town allll weekend with soulful sounds of tone-deaf country singers who call Henderson home.  

My dorm, the glorious Hall-Roland Hall, is strategically placed about 6 feet away from the BBQ F.  My 9:00 class was cancelled yesterday.  Good news... right?  I decided to sleep in and skip chapel.  I finally woke up at 11.  And what did I wake up to?  The musical stylings of the festival.  I laughed.  Out loud.  My roommate, who is a freshman and has never met the Chester County BBQ Festival, looked at me strangely.  I said, "Meet the BBQ Festival.  Welcome to the next 3 days of your life."

So yeah.  There are tents, there are inflatables, there is music... but that's not all.  There are funnel cakes, there are fried oreos... there is heaven on earth.  Emily and I shared a funnel cake Thursday night.  Was it glorious?  Yes.  We bought the fried dough covered in powdery goodness and sat down on a concrete slab by the sidewalk on the corner of the street.  This is where the real adventure began.  This is probably going to be one of those "you had to be there" kind of stories, but bear with me.


When we sit down... we spot this half eaten corndog on the ground.  It's gross and right in the middle of the sidewalk.  And then the watch-all-the-crazy-townies game commences.  We're eating and watching and laughing and eating and watching and laughing... when all of a sudden creeper townie of the year walks by.  Emily and I look at each other and look back at him at the exact moment he TRIPS over previously mentioned corndog.  So he didn't fall on the ground but it was a close one.  He looks down at the disgusting, unidentifiable smush on the ground, looks at us, and we immediately look away at the ground trying to contain the laughter within.  He walks away... and we erupt with laughter.  The kind of laughter that is inaudible for the first 20 seconds.  You know, when you're laughing SO hard no sound is coming out.  It was an insanely funny moment.  You should have been there.  While we finished our funnel cake, we were obsessed with staring at people's feet as they walked by... to see who else would step in the smush.  Fun times.  It was gross.  And funny.


Yay for the BBQ Festival and it's ministry of fattening food, creepy people, and all things hilarious.