What is love? If you're like me, when you hear those words, the first thing you want to do is bust out into song, "What is love? Baby don't hurt me!" And what an annoying song to be stuck in your head for the rest of the day! You're welcome. But don't thank me, thank the 90's.
Seriously though, what on earth is love? Most of us know God's definition of love and are familiar with 1 Corinthians 13. It's an exhaustive list on true, unconditional love. Love's patient and kind... it certainly isn't jealous or boastful. Love does not keep a record of wrong-doing. The best thing about this list, about God's love, is the ending statement, "Love never fails." Never? Hmmph. So love is something meant to last forever?
I know there are several different kinds of love. I want to focus on romantic love namely. Most weddings have the scripture about love incorporated. This is because God wants marriages to be built on kindness and patience. God wants married folks to keep on forgiving and not keep a record of wrongs. God wants marriages to never fail. It's a great design-- God's design for love and marriage. Don'tcha think?
So, we have a an outline from God about what perfect love is... but love is still hard to define and everyone seems to have a different opinion on what it means to love someone. Is love just a feeling? Is love a choice? What about chemistry and attraction? I've asked several people today what they believe love is.
"It's completely undefinable. You just know it when you feel it, and that goes for any degree of love."
"Your question is like asking someone to define pizza. So many different kinds, all with different definitions. The greeks had it right by breaking it up into different words. Love is holding the door open for someone. Love is giving your spouse the window seat... Love costs. If it doesn't, it's not love. It's giving without concern for getting. The higher the cost, the purer the love... Love is the most expensive thing on this planet. It must be, because people who don't feel it from those around them feel poor and miserable and lonely, even among the wealthiest."
"Devoted selflessness to another person. It's self denial for the benefit of a specific person."
"Love is a choice, that's why God gave it to us as a command. We don't inherently love, and we definitely don't fall in love 'at first sight.' We choose to love people despite flaws, differences, and insecurity. We chose to love people on good days and bad. And, when it comes to the person we'll marry, we choose to love them and honor and respect them for the rest of our lives. We choose to break down all walls and let that person become one with us, so much so that it isn't loving another person, but a fulfillment of loving ourselves."
"To care about someone so deeply that nothing can change your view of them. To see someone in their best and worse state and still want to spend the rest of your life with them by your side."
"Love is a bond that is cultivated between two people. Each person is willing to put the other first and self last. While it begins with attraction and compatibility, love develops over time into a committed decision-- a special promise-- from one to the other every day. As the two mature, their love grows into a closer picture of perfect love described in 1 Cor. 13. Love is always the appropriate reaction to any situation."
One time my grandma, who was married for nearly 50 years, was talking to me about her marriage. She said, "It never crossed my mind that we would ever separate. When you love someone it's all about doing whatever you can to make the other happy." I take anything she says about love and marriage for gold because she and Pop had such a successful and happy life together.
There are so many things that I agree with from these statements. Love is most definitely a choice. Love is work. Love is expensive. Love is a feeling. Love is selfless. ...Love is a command.
One of my favorite definitions of love comes from Shakespear's Sonnet 116. I had to recite when I was in 9th grade and have loved it ever since. In college, I was delighted again when Dr. Cargile allowed us to recite a Shakespearian sonnet for extra credit. I guess you know which one I chose. :)
Let me not to the marriage of true minds
Admit impediments. Love is not love
Which alters when it alteration finds,
Or bends with the remover to remove:
O no! it is an ever-fixed mark
That looks on tempests and is never shaken;
It is the star to every wandering bark,
Whose worth's unknown, although his height be taken.
Love's not Time's fool, though rosy lips and cheeks
Within his bending sickle's compass come:
Love alters not with his brief hours and weeks,
But bears it out even to the edge of doom.
If this be error and upon me proved,
I never writ, nor no man ever loved.
So, everyone has their different opinion of what love is. I guess that's another reason that makes it so unique and special.
I've always thought a lot about all this love business, for as long as I can remember. However, I find myself thinking about it more and more lately. I know that, for me, love is something I choose to do. Love is something I find difficult sometimes and something that is quite expensive. It's not monetarily expensive, but it does take a lot of selflessness and giving. A lot of the time it means giving and not getting much, or anything, in return. Love isn't all sacrifice though. Love is play and laughter. Love is time spent with those that mean the world to you. Love is being absolutely crazy about someone. Love is hugs and kisses. And.. love is basking in the sun and knowing there's a person out there who loves you, too.
