Day 3

Day 3:  My first love...

Hmmm.... this is going to be a difficult subject to write about.  Only because I can't exactly pinpoint my first love.  And does first love mean the first relationship I had where love was returned?  Or does it mean MY first love-- the person I first loved, even unrequited?  I'm not sure.

Even so, I often go back and forth in defining feelings I've had for boys in the past.  I suppose this is why I'm having such a hard time deciding who my first love is. After relationships I've always questioned myself.   Did I really love them?  Or did I just think I loved them?  Was I in love?  Or did I just love them as a best friend?

For as long as I can remember, I've been the girl that falls for the guy best friend.  And while I agree with Emily (that you should marry your best friend and most great relationships start with friendship), I often found myself in relationships that just weren't satisfying.  These guys were my best friends and we always had a blast, but most of the time it was missing that spark.

I had several crushes and one-week-relationships during the middle school years.  Was one of them my first love?  I dunno.  My first relationship or real-life boyfriend was in 9th grade with a boy named Alex... who remained one of my best friends throughout all our high school years.  I know, imagine that?

We had a dramatic 15-year-old break up and my heart was broken.  I suppose I'll give him my first love credit. :)

2 comments:

Emily March 21, 2011 10:38 AM  

Well all loves are different, and each love story is unique. And a "first love" is usually something that, at the time, you thought was a first love, but looking back (after years and many lessons learned), you realize that you didn't love them--at least, not with the love you know now.

I always say, when referring to my "first love", that I loved him as much as a 15 year old could. Is that the same as the other, more meaningful relationships I had after that? No. Is it the same as the relationship I'm currently in? No. But it was love nonetheless.

So, give Alex credit, and give yourself credit. I know you, and so I know that you must have loved him to the best of your ability back then, because that's just what you do. =)

Alex March 21, 2011 10:42 AM  

Haha Ashley I love you :) We haven't seen each other in years but I often think about you and the fun times we had together.

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I'm Ashley-- a laugher, day dreamer, art lover, and fun go-getter. These are my thoughts.

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